So sick of this.

Literally. I feel like I have been sick FOREVER. I know it kinda always feels like that when you're sick, but this is not quite like that.

I feel that summer is flying by and I haven't done much of anything. The things I want to do aren't even spectacular. I'd like to go camping or hiking or SOMETHING. But even when I feel "ok" I constantly worry about the evillness coming back stronger. But again, I don't remember the last time I felt "ok."

Nothing has worked thus far. My doc and I are on the same boat though...we're turning every stone. Tomorrow I go to see a Gastroenterologist, with the thoughts that maybe something is malfunctioning in my esophagus. Tomorrow is just an evaluation, but it may lead to an Endoscopy. In case you don't know the horror...this is where they put a light and a camera on a thin contraption and look down your throat. It's not really so bad, except for the fact that I have a pretty sensitive gag reflex. In nursing school I watched a woman get one of these and I nearly fainted. They give you something to numb your throat, as well as something to ease your anxiety and make you forget the whole thing happened. But really, I know exactly what's going to happen. Meh.

I'm doing some of my own cleansing as well. Not necessarily a diet or fast or anything like that, but just trying to keep the really bad things out. I haven't had coffee since Friday. I'd say that's a good start.