&*%$#@#!

Gah. I am in a serious funk this week. I can't explain it, I don't know what I'm feeling. It's not overwhelmingly bad, but it's not good. I feel like hiding here in my house until it goes away. Basically....it SUCKS. Am I having a midlife crisis or something?

Whatever it is, I want it out of my head. I hate this feeling of not knowing what's wrong and not knowing what to do about it.

I know some things I can do though, that I've been meaning to for some time. I really have to just buckle down and do it and TAKE CARE OF MYSELF. I know this will help regardless of whats wrong with me. Why haven't I already been doing it? I don't know. I really have no excuse. Laziness. Too busy taking care of everyone else. Whatever, they're not good excuses.

I haven't been to gym since....I can't remember. I eat like crap because I usually either just snack on granola bars or crackers in the car, stop for the forbidden fast food, or just skip lunch altogether so I can get my visits done earlier. And I drink too much, at least more than I'd like to. I need to pull it together. I know I can do it. It's just hard once you're in a freaking slump, to pull yourself out. So much easier to just stay in the slump. But so much lamer!

I am trying not to let my work consume my life. I really don't want to be a workaholic. But it takes so much time to get everything done. And since I tend to be a perfectionist things probably take even longer. I am unable to do a half-ass job in order to get things done faster.

Meh. I am rambling a bit but I needed to vent.